"Tom" and "Laverne" could handle the big
problems of their relationship better than many couples; it
was the little things that unnerved them. One problem
that came up far too often in sessions was Laverne's habit of
leaving the cap off the toothpaste in the bathroom.
Tom grew livid when she would do it again. Laverne
claimed that she tried to remember, but got no credit for the
95% of the time that she did remember to. Plus,
she couldn't see
what was so terrible about Tom putting it back on for her
now and then, considering all the favors she did for him.
One
week, Nigel brought out a paper bag during one of their
sessions and said, "I have a gift for you two. I don't
normally buy things for my clients but I wanted to see if it
might help."
Laverne reached in and pulled out a
container of Colgate that was not in a tube. The cap
wasn't a screw-off type; it was a hinge.
"I'm not sure if I like this brand," she
said.
"I'm not sure I trust her to re-do the
hinge lid any more than the screw cap," Tom added.
Nigel said, "She's more likely to remember
since it takes only one hand to squeeze and close.
If she forgets, this cap will never get lost or hit the
floor. And, Laverne, are you really so unwilling to find out if you
like it?
"No, I suppose not. I've seen these
in stores. They're more expensive than tubes, though."
Tom nodded in agreement.
"More expensive than your ongoing
frustration, plus the total time you
two have spent talking about it here at $125 per hour?"
Nigel
queried.
The couple looked at each other and
laughed. As their therapy sessions continued, not only
did they never fight about toothpaste again, but "Let's look
for a Colgate solution" became a signal: Look for an
answer that is neither his way nor hers, but a different
approach that could suit both.
Office and client frustrations can be the
same way. Whether it's a wise manager playing
peacemaker or you yourself finding a way to quell a problem
with someone you deal with, see where you might be missing
the Colgate solution that could bring peace to everyone
involved.
A great teambuilding session like
TEAMprovising can help teammates start to see new ways of
thinking about problems, both old and new.
