The So-Called Phobia of
Public Speaking
(subtitle: Fear of Public Speaking Is
Rational!)
This is the
full article; if you began reading this in my eZine, please continue
after the yellow highlighting.
As a
public speaking coach, I'd say 75% of the people who call my office
mention fear - and that's fine. It's okay to acknowledge that something
is scary and it's even better that these folks have picked up the phone,
taking a step to deal with it. It's that word "phobia" that I have a
problem with.
Dictionary.com defines a phobia as "a persistent,
irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation..."
My argument is that there's nothing irrational about being
afraid to do something that you haven't been trained to do well!
Supposing
tomorrow, for reasons unknown, you are awakened to find out that you
have to do immediate open-heart surgery on someone. Only you can save
the person on the table and you're rushed into the O.R. where
Nurse Jenkins hands you a scalpel and everyone is poised for you to
begin.
Scared? I would expect so! So then: you have a
phobia of performing open-heart surgery? Or is it a completely
rational reaction to being expected to do something that you haven't
been prepared for...let alone had time to develop a comfort zone with?
Get the point? It's the same with speaking! Our
society has this ridiculous notion that if you have a voice and you know
English, you should be able to get up and give a presentation -- and
should even be comfortable doing so! Yet few of us have ever
had any real preparation for this. Almost none of us get it in high
school and relatively few do in college. Oh, you might have been asked
to give some sort of oral reports, but likely you just got a grade on
it, not coaching.
So if this is an area that you have stress related
to and, like 99% of Americans, your education didn't really prepare you
to:
- speak to your
staff
- do that sales
presentation
- address that
business/social group
- make that speech
to a hundred friends and family at your daughter's wedding
...give yourself a break, my friend. You have no
more reason to feel ready and comfortable than you did taking that
scalpel from Nurse Jenkins. So take a breath and give yourself credit
for that.
The good news is two-fold:
1) No one will ever ask you to do open-heart
surgery, unless you're in the 0.01% of my readers who HAVE been expertly
trained in this...and they chose to do that.
2) Public speaking skills are quite learnable,
just like driving a car, roasting a turkey, and programming your DVR.
You just need a sense of commitment and a willingness to screw up a
little in practice without kicking your self too hard 'til you start to
see the improvement.
A good book like my
Public Speaking: Get A's, Not Zzzzzz's! or
its age-specific sequel
Public Speaking for
TEENS:
Get A's, Not Zzzzzz's! can help; both are
designed to be fun reading so it won't hurt be painful.
Even better, or in concert with reading, is
joining a Toastmasters club -- an international
organization dedicated to meeting weekly to work on these skills.
You're expected to speak every 4 to 6 weeks while learning from watching
others give their presentations and getting feedback.
Or, if you want to speed up the process, there's
coaching, where 100% of the energy is devoted to
taking your talents, needs, and goals into consideration as we delve
into what works well and how capable you are of doing it.
What you're going to find is that the more you
know, the more the fear gets smaller and smaller...until it's barely
there. And that, my friends, don't sound like no kinda phobia to me!
:)
-----------------------------------------
Learn more in
"Public
Speaking:
Get A's, Not Zzzzzz's!"
And now
for the next generation:
(now go back to
your email to read
the rest of the original eZine!)
-----------------------------------------
For those who hit upon this page directly:
Milo Shapiro of
www.PublicDynamics.com has been coaching and running corporate
classes in public speaking skills since 2004. He meets clients in person
in San Diego, internationally via Skype, or as fly-in support.
The above-mentioned books are available by clicking their titles.
Milo is also a featured speaker at conferences on the topic of public speaking
skills as well as having fun, interactive motivational keynotes using
improvisation. More on that at
www.IMPROVentures.com .
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